I hate drama, and I hate seriousness, but I think this is important … we will return to our regularly geeky posts next week.
The thing I love most about the gaming community is how supportive everyone is of each other. We all reblog, promote, like, RT, share and comment on everything, because we know that more being involved with everyone will only help the community grow. It’s not about competition, it’s about involvement. Because of this, I share my blog on Facebook and Twitter, in Facebook groups, and in turn share what other people are doing too. I love to see what people are doing around me and sharing it with my followers!
Today, however, I got a taste of the not so supportive side of the community. I don’t get fussy over the “girl gamer” title. I don’t call my guy friends “guy gamers” because we’re all just gamers. But sometimes things happen where I want the “girl gamer” community to bolster together, because we are targeted for the fact that we have vaginas. Today is an example of that.
I posted my latest blog post in a Facebook group I’m in (omitting names because one idiot shouldn’t taint the whole group). This isn’t the first time I’ve done this, but this is the first time the administrator of the group commented, asking that I talk to him first before “advertising”. I didn’t think it would be an issue because I’ve done it before, but I apologized, and offered to take it down.
It’s the comment that followed this that eats at me, and is the reason why I’m writing this. Some guy (not the administrator) thinks that in order to settle the “matter” that has nothing to do with him we should have “roofie coolattas” (I think he means coladas?) at his place. In private.
This isn’t even close to as bad as some of the treatment women have been getting lately, but it’s still disgusting. As a community, we should be supportive of each other, and when we can’t be supportive, or we disagree with someone’s actions, we should at least be respectful. We certainly should not suggest date rape drugs as a means of settling differences in a group on Facebook.
If I wasn’t a girl, I wouldn’t be spoken to this way. And it shouldn’t be thought to be okay because I am a girl. Women in the gaming industry have to deal with this all the time, and it really sucks. I’ve heard horror stories on some of the shit talk that goes on in online multiplayer waiting rooms. If you want to call me an ass, or tell me I’m shitty at gaming, or laugh at my low trophy level, be my guest. But keep it on a level playing field, don’t tell me to make you a god damn sandwich, and if you threaten to drug me then go die in a fire.
After I told him how incredibly disrespectful he was, he told me he was joking, and that I should “get a sense of humor” and recognize the reference – which is typically the copout when sexist, misogynistic comments like that are called out. And FYI, person, just because YOU think it’s a joke doesn’t mean it’s funny, or appropriate.
Us gamers that are girls DO need to stand together, because if we don’t then this bullhockey isn’t going to stop. Groups like the Frag Dolls, Gaming Angels, Girls of PS3, Girl Gamerz – they are there to support girls AND guys alike in their love for gaming. Women of the gaming world – let’s continue to support each other, so we don’t have to deal with asshats anymore. Because nobody deserves to be spoken to in a demeaning way, and it’s bull that we should even have to put up with it – the gaming industry or anywhere else.